Wishing for success.....

You know that feeling where you work and work and work so hard to try and make something click but no matter what you try you still feel like nothings coming to you? Well that's where I am right now. This is all in reference to callbacks. I've tried multiple times to try and sing the songs I've been given and they just won't click. And then I turn to try and even sound like the character would sound in dialogue and nothing is coming. So right now I feel hopeless. Like there is no chance unless I magically find it all tomorrow morning.

The worst part of this entire scenario is that there is one character that I have that emotional connection through both his song and his dialogue. I'm constantly making discoveries about him and how he feels. But it's too late. That chance to portray that character was taken away. Now I just need to learn to get over it.

Such a big let down

Words can't even begin to explain how I feel right now......

My friends

My friends are the greatest people I know. The thing is though, they are all my family to me. Like saying goodbye to them is like saying goodbye to my super close family members. And that is very disheartening. After realizing all the points above I finally figured out the reason for my rather lacking mood. I haven't had my full family around since this play has started so maybe I've subconsciously been feeling quite alone and unloved. I don't know, all I know is that tonight was probably the the greatest run I've had, and what do ya know, my whole family was there. They pretty much keep me alive and going. I don't know what I'd do without them. I love them all so much (;

I can't make any decisions right now blog. I know I like that one someone, but then there is also that other person who I've liked for SOOO long and thats going/gone nowhere....... In both cases said person wont reciprocate the feelings. And I know there are girls out there that like me but I just don't feel like I wanna go there with them. Is that rude of me blog? To deny that relationship from someone because I can't move past my feelings for these two other people?
Sigh, blog, it seems that in the case of love I will always be a hopeless man wanting for what he can't get to.

"The part that hurts the most is I feel I'm not interesting enough to keep the persons attention......."

The High School Life

Guys, sometimes I can be such a jerk person. And at the moment I am a jerk I don't even think about what I am doing. But then about a day and a half later I begin to catch on. Blegh sometimes I suck. I feel like some people are rubbing off on me that shouldn't be..... /:

And guys, I have senioritis. Already. I hate it. This year is going soooo slow!! I'm ready to be graduated and actually start moving somewhere in my life. Cause right now, I'm stuck in the same place.

Plus I'm gonna be honest here. I don't care to live where I do anymore. I'm tired of being yelled at for the stupidest things in the world and I'm just ready to move forward with my life.

On a lighter note, I did finally get a job. I'm gonna tell you where it is but don't laugh. Actually go ahead cause everybody does. Its the McDonalds across the street from Lehi High School.

Um I still like who I've liked. I don't know if that'll ever change. I need to have my for real first kiss already.

*Sigh* I need to move out

Word Vomit

The previous post has been removed. To sum it up there was Anger and sadness. Oh but this line can be reposted "I'm so tired of being one upped in every part of my life." Basically I'm tired of having mediocre talents and being invisible. That is all.